Last week I was bound and determined to get back on track. On Sunday evening I wrote a detailed plan for the week ahead, and on Monday morning I kicked it into high gear. By Saturday morning I was worn out. I can always tell when I have reached my limit because I begin to grumble over the most trivial things:
Ugh! Derrick took the wrong lunch with him today.
When will Zoe learn to clean up her school books when she is done with them?
Why can't Elliot shut his dresser drawers when he is done rifling through them?
The only thing that put a smile on my face was the fact that within an hour they would all be gone, leaving Leif and I alone to tackle the to-do list. As soon as I returned home from dropping the kids off at soccer, I placed Leif on his toy mat, and I started to clean up the breakfast dishes. Unfortunately, Leif' did not feel like playing and he quickly began to fuss. I grumbled and picked him up.
Well, then it is time for you to go to sleep my little man. Mama has lots to do today.
So, I had a seat in the living room and began to nurse him. In no time he was fast asleep. I scooped Leif up in my arms and quietly walked him into our room where I gently placed him in his crib. Then I crept back out and headed back to the kitchen. As I was finishing up the dishes and was just about to switch the laundry over, I heard Leif crying.
I went back into the room and patted his back hoping it would soothe him, but he was too upset.
Well, Leif, I guess you are going to have to get in the carrier and help mama finish her chores today.
But he was having none of this. He cried and cried.
Leif, you have to man up. This is ridiculous.
Then I headed to the laundry room with my crying baby in tow. As I knelt before the dryer pulling out all the towels, I explained to Leif once again that he was being ridiculous and that he needed to suck it up. By now, even I was crying. I only had half of the towels in the laundry basket when all of a sudden I stopped. I stood up and walked upstairs. I took Leif out of the carrier, sat back down on the chair with him, and pulled out a boob. As I gazed into his eyes, still wet from all his tears, he smiled at me and a thought popped into my head:
How many Saturdays have I spent over the past few years doing laundry, washing dishes, and making meals with a heavy heart because I wanted nothing more than my baby to hold?
So, I settled in for the afternoon. This time when Leif fell asleep I did not budge. I turned on the television, neglected my chores and snuggled my baby. It was exactly what this weary mom needed.
When Leif finally woke up three hours later, I handed him over to play with Zoe. I felt refreshed. I had reconnected with my baby and I was no longer grouchy. I quickly finished up my laundry and put Leif back into the carrier. This time, though, we were heading outside for a walk to enjoy the spring-like weather, and we were both much happier people.
Being a mom is tough. As much as we would like to play with our children and hold our babies all day long, we can't. We have work that needs to be done. Like everything in life, the key is finding a balance. So this week, when I sit down to plan the week ahead, I am leaving Saturday afternoon wide open because this little guy (and the one in front of him . . . tee hee!) is pretty special to me, and I am going to take every possible opportunity to enjoy him.
While you are here, check out how handsome my boys looked in their church clothes today:
I am one very lucky mama!