Beware of the April Fools

April Fool's Day is typically not observed in our household because the mama (aka "me") is not particularly fond of practical jokes.  It wouldn't be too bad if the pranks pulled were light-hearted in nature, but it seems like they always have a tint of nasty to them.  What starts out with the simple intention of making someone else laugh tends to end up embarrassing, shaming, or hurting them.  Like all families,we love to laugh at one another's expense and enjoy a good joke, but having an entire morning dedicated to pulling pranks on unsuspecting victims creates anxiety within me.  Just like it did when I was a little girl desperately trying to navigate the halls of my school unseen and, therefore, unpranked, and oh, how I would breathe a sigh of relief when the lunch bell rang at noon signifying the end of the April Fool's madness. 

Aaaahhhh . . . safe for another year.

So last year on Mar. 31 when Elliot cried in his bed because his belly hurt and there was no possible way he could wake up and go to school the next day, I immediately recognized the symptoms and devised a plan.  Elliot and I decided that the best cure for the April Fool's Blues was to become the pranker and not the prankee, and our goal was to find a prank that wouldn't target just one person and wouldn't cause grief for anyone. 

I wish these brilliant ideas would come to me more often!

So we got to work!  Since we still had some crutches laying around the house from the week before when Zoe sprained her ankle, we decided to wrap Elliot's ankle up and send him to school on the crutches.  That night, rather than going to bed fearful, Elliot was full of giggles.

This is going to be the best prank ever, Mom!

And it was.  Elliot's classmates and his teachers totally fell for it, and were quite surprised when the lunch bell rang and Elliot threw down his crutches, did a dance, and squealed "April Fool's Day"!  He was beaming when he came home that afternoon, and I gave myself a pat on the back:  Good work, mama.  Good work!

Oh, but like so many of my proud mama moments, there is always a dark side, and it reared its ugly, and very smelly, head yesterday afternoon.

All week, Elliot has been counting down to April Fool's Day, and recently he recruited his usual cohort in shenanigans, Avery, to come up with the ultimate prank on Zoe.  First, they created an evil lair in their bedroom closet where they could plot and devise their plans. Second, they scoured the unsuspecting victim's room, while she was at school, for anything they could use against her.  Third, they asked their mama for some glass jars and headed outside.

Typically, when the boys are getting along well and are staying out of my hair, I let them be, but yesterday, I couldn't shake this nagging feeling that I should find out exactly what they were up to.  Mind you, I am very good at ignoring nagging feelings, particularly when I am enjoying some much needed peace and quiet, so the boys were just wrapping up their maniacal plot when I asked:

Boys, what are the glass jars for?

Ummmm . . . .

Nothing mom!  We're just using them for our April Fool's Day prank on Zoe.

That, Avery, he is so smooth . . .

Yes, but what is your prank?

Ummmm . . . .

Come on, Avery, just tell her.  The gig is up.

That, Elliot, he is so smart . . .

We put dog poop and compost in the jars, and we were going to open them up and hide them in Zoe's room on April Fool's Day.

WHAT?!?!?!?!  

It will be hilarious!  She'll love it!

Get rid of them now!

Later that afternoon, Zoe came home from school and asked:

What's with all the glass baby food jars outside the door.

And Elliot proceeded to tell her . . .

What?!?!?!?!  You two are so dead!  Just wait; I'm going to get you for this.

As the boys laid in their bed last night contemplating the various things their sister could do to them, I overheard Elliot say:

Avery, we've got to come up with something else, and this time, we can't let mom find out.

And so it begins.

Did I tell you I LOATHE April Fool's Day?

tee hee!

The proof!  See, I don't make this stuff up.  My boys truly are gross and slightly twisted!