I Should Know Better

You would think that by now, after fifteen and a half years of parenting, I would know better than to take even one moment to bask in my parenting awesomeness. I should know that whenever I do this, the Universe decides to knock me down a peg or two just to keep me humble and to remind me that I am truly not in charge here. THEY are!

Frightening yes, but true.

Yesterday afternoon, my three munchkins and I decided to enjoy the beautiful summer afternoon by the pool. The kids jumped in, but I was content to just sit, with the warm sun on my back and a gentle breeze blowing off the river to cool me down, reading a book. The sound of my kids laughing and the antics of a nearby flock of finches filled the air along with the smell of freshly mowed grass and a faint tinge of chlorine from the pool. It felt like summer, it sounded like summer, and it smelled like summer. To say I was in heaven is an understatement. 

Like all good times,  though, this one sadly ended far to quickly for my liking. The boys began to fight, and Elliot stormed out of the pool screaming:

Avery, you are such a turd!

This is his latest, most favourite insult to lash out with at his brother. Avery, who loves nothing more than a good scrap, followed it up by yelling:

At least I'm not a baby!

His insults may lack creativity, but when you've got something that works,why change it.

About ten minutes after Elliot left the pool, Avery, who is lost without his brother, decided to go up to the house and join him. It wasn't long before they were both out on the deck trying to wheel and deal some extra screen time out of me.

Mom, if we do a chore for you, can we watch another half hour of screen?

Enjoying this idyllic summer moment in my backyard and knowing that supper was just around the corner and that there was lots for me to do, I jumped quickly on their offer.

Empty the dishwasher and then you can watch a show.

And, then the inevitable happened. I began to feel very smug with myself. I basked in my supreme awesomeness for cracking down on the screen time this summer and for teaching my kids the value of hard work. This was one of those good mama moments that are few and far between, and I was determined to soak up every last morsel of this glorious feeling.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! This is the life. 

Unfortunately, supper time was approaching quickly and I had to get the boys ready for their soccer practice that evening. I reluctantly peeled myself  off of the lawn chair, called to Zoe that it was time to get out of the pool, and headed back up to the house. When inside, I was pleased to see that my dishwasher was empty and the boys   were laying lazily (and quietly) on the couch watching an old Garfield cartoon. Again, I gave myself a well-deserved pat on the back. Then, I started supper. I usually get the kids to set the table, but I was enjoying the silence and the solitude of my kitchen so much that I decided to the do the job myself. I opened up the cupboard where we keep all the plates, and I grumbled for a moment about how the boys just seem to toss everything in there willy nilly with no concern for order. A couple of plastic bowls were leaning on their side and the plates, rather than being stacked from biggest to smallest, were placed randomly on top of one another. I laughed at my apparent OCD, and went to rearrange the plates when I noticed that one of the plates still had spaghetti sauce on it. In fact, the closer I looked, I noticed that all the plates still had sauce on them. I whipped open the glass cupboard and discovered that all the glasses were still smudged and a few still had left over bits of  pulp from our orange juice that morning on them.Then, it dawned on me. Yes, I loaded the dishwasher that afternoon, but I never turned it on . . . 

BOYS! You put all of these dishes away even though they were dirty. What were you thinking!

I knew it, mom! I told Avery they were still dirty but he told me to do it anyway. Avery, I told you. I am sorry mom.

Elliot became visibly flustered.

Turn off the TV and come help me reload this dishwasher. Elliot, you know better than this. You should have came out and told me the dishes were still dirty rather than unloading them. 

I know mom, but Avery said it was okay.

Avery, you know better too. Why would you put away dirty dishes?

Avery, who never skips a beat and almost never feels any remorse for his follies, replied:

Listen mom, you never said anything about putting away clean dishes. You only told us to unload the dishwasher. You need to be more clear with your directions.

As a mad as I was and as much as I wanted to wring his neck, I could not help but laugh. What a kid! I definitely see law school in his future . . . well, either that, or prison.  

. . .  tee  hee!

My dirty dishes

Happy Wednesday!

Tender Mercies

Being a mom is hard.

Some days it is really hard.

Days when the sacrifice seems more than you can bear.

There are times you don't sleep, times when you worry more than you smile, and times when you cry more than you laugh. 

But, thankfully, there are times like last night . . .

moments of clarity that come to interrupt your weariness, to awaken you to the blessings before you, and to remind you of the privilege it is to be someone's mother.

You are sitting on a cold, metal bleacher.  In your hurry to get out the door on time and to ensure everyone has what they need for the evening, you forgot your own coat and forgot you are wearing flip flops rather than sensible Maritime attire of socks and sneakers.  Thankfully, the sun peeks outs and, as it is setting behind you, you can feel it's warmth against your back.  The cold no longer bothers you, though.  You are enthralled in watching how happy your baby girl is trying out for her new soccer team.  Your heart swells to see her perform so well and to see how talented she has become with all the hard work, sacrifice and dedication she has put into her game.  As you stare at her in awe and wonder what on earth you could have ever done to deserve such an amazing daughter, you hear your two boys squeal in laughter as they run past you in an intense game of hide-and-seek tag.  Your attention turns to them.  You marvel at how quick they are to turn everything into a game and how easily they can draw other kids into their games, and it brings a smile to your face.  Suddenly, you are no longer tired.  Your concerns and your frustrations have washed away, and you think to yourself:

life may not be perfect, but it is good. It is, oh, so very good!

Just Another Manic Monday . . .

I read an expression this morning that I think sums up what is needed here at Shenanigans Inc.:

A Gentle Day

Doesn't that sound lovely?

Well, after the day we had yesterday, a gentle day is definitely in order.

It all started when I awoke and realised there was no milk left.  In fact, there was no cereal left.  The bread was gone and we were down to one egg.  Yikes!  No worries, though, I woke the boys up and announced we were going out for breakfast.

Yippee!

Since we were already up and out, I decided that this would be a good time to catch up on all those errands I keep putting off.  I am the Queen of Procrastination!  We did some shopping, washed the car, bought the week's groceries, ran home to unload the groceries, ate lunch, headed back out to get the oil changed in the car, and arrived home at 4pm to catch up on the schoolwork we missed and to make supper before soccer at 6:30pm.  Phew!

And here lies the problem:  amidst the flurry of activity and pressing time constraints, Elliot shuts down and I push harder.  Trust me, this is one lethal combination.  There were tears, there was shouting, there were empty threats made, and there were feelings hurt.  Ugh!

Thankfully, my hubby, who did I mention just finished his exam for the CMA course (woot! woot!), was actually home for supper, and managed to save the day with his level-headedness by sitting down with Elliot, turning his funk of a mood around with a monetary incentive (I prefer the word incentive to bribery, don't you?) and helping him to finish his work.  Then, like only the best Super Heroes can, he made the evening even better by taking the kids to soccer (woot! woot! woot!).

Although I promised to clean up the kitchen while he was gone, I lied.  Yeah, that's the kind of girl I am.  Instead, I laid on the couch and read some blogs, called my mom, and took a hot bath.

Shrouded within the peace and quiet of my home, clarity returned.

Okay, girl.   You screwed up.  You lost your patience and your cool, BUT tomorrow is another day.  Oh, and don't forget all the good things that did happen today.

Does anyone else do that; forget all the wonderful things they did in a day after only one screw up?  I do this ALL the time.  I beat myself up mercilessly for the one mistake and ignore the hundred things I did right.

So, I started focusing on what went right with our day.

First of all, I bought a bathing suit that, if you allow me to boast for only a moment, I totally rock in and, as all you ladies out there can testify, this is a small miracle in of itself.  

Second of all, I filled my home with nutritious food for my family, which is hugely significant because I once again sustained the life of five whole people on the earth today.  Wow!  

Third, I gave the boys a brand new experience here on this mortal journey of theirs by taking them to the car wash.  I know!  Their first one . . . who knew they were leading such deprived lives, or that I am such a neglectful car owner?  I must say, though, it did blow their mind!

I apologise for how blurry this picture is, but I think it captures the boys' excitement to a tee.

Fourth, my heart was full and I had one of those proud mama moments when Avery exclaimed: "Sometimes I get so happy that I think my head might burst right open!".  Totally made my day!  

And last but not least, I laid down in bed with Elliot last night, where we snuggled and apologised for all the grief we had caused one another and promised to never do it again.  Awwwww!

Okay, so, we both lied but, hey, we went to bed happy and eager to face another day together.  

tee hee!

I Made Their Day!

When exactly do we lose our interest in play?

When do we start saying, "Oh, I'm too old for that!"?

For me, I don't remember when it happened, but lately I find myself bowing out of the shenanigans more and more.  I blame it on my bad back, my overwhelming to-do list, or my responsibility as the family photographer, but really when it comes down to it, I think I have just become comfortable with being a spectator rather than a participant.  As parents, we become so intoxicated with watching our kids experience life that we forget to live ourselves.  Fun for us is watching their faces light up with wonder and awe as they experience something new or master a particular challenge, but what if we were actually a part of that moment?  What if we were the cause of their smiles?  Think about it.  They mean everything to us, and for a brief time, we mean everything to them so we need to make the most of it.  We need to play!

Let me set it up for you:  it was a very hot and humid morning.  The kids and I had just spent a grueling three hours preparing a patch for the strawberry plants my friend is giving me (and I am oh, so very excited about getting), and we were in desperate need of a cooling off. 

(Totally off-topic, but if you are wondering how on earth I ever managed to get my kids to help me with this chore, I'll let you in on the greatest parenting secret ever.  Shhh!  Don't tell this juicy tidbit to just anyone, but . . . kids can be bought!  Oh, yeah, it is amazing what they will do for "paper money".  Coins don't interest them because they get enough of those from the tooth fairy, but you wave a lovely $5 bill in their face and they are yours!  It's brilliant!)

Anyhoo, back to the cooling off.  Well, the kids are still pretty smitten with our makeshift slip-and-slide, so they grabbed their bathing suits and headed to the hill. 

"What?!!!"

"You're coming too, mom?"

"I sure am!"

Now, if you are in any way affiliated with Sport's Illustrated and let's say you happen to be working on their annual swimsuit edition, I'm surprisingly cheap!  Just inbox me, and I'll forward you to my agent, Mr. Level-Headed.  I'm sure we can work something out.

Ahhh!  Not the arms!  Anything but the arms!!

Not too bad for an ol' mama!

The kids couldn't stop laughing after they saw me ease myself onto the tarp.  This made no sense at all to them because "you go much faster when you have a running start!".  Yeah, I can see the grass burns now!   

Here's  how the pros do it:

I think the best part was seeing Mr. Level-Headed's expression when the kids greeted him after work with "mommy, went on the slip-and-slide!".

To which I replied: "yeah, I'm cool like that".

Tee hee!

The Summer Schedule

What do you do with your kids all summer long?

Here at Shenanigans Inc. we love summer!  We love the late nights on the soccer field, the sunshine, the bonfires, the BBQ's, the swimming, and the break from our schedule.

Well, that is not entirely true.  So, let me try it again: we love the break from our school year schedule because the summer schedule is so much better!

Summer schedule?

You got it!

We have tried something new and something oh, so very awesome.  I have implemented a summer schedule.  Now before you go and think I have lost my mind entirely, like my dear friend Sara does, or that I am the world's biggest party pooper (because you know that's just not true), let me explain.  Elliot, my sweet tender-hearted Elliot, has been asking for a schedule displayed openly in our home for about a year now.  Elliot is my anxious child, and we have been working with him to help him identify those things that make his "belly hurt".  One of the big stressers in his life is not knowing what to expect from the day and being unable to manage his time well enough to make sure that key elements in his day are not missed, like the highly coveted screen time.  Well, being a little OCD myself, the thought of creating a schedule, one that could be proudly displayed for the world to see, overwhelmed me, but a year later I have finally taken the plunge and made one.  There is so much to take in consideration when one is creating something of this magnitude.  First of all, it has to be flexible, it has to be able to incorporate the million and one directions we are all going in at one time, and it has to be visually appealing. 

Ta daa!

It's amazing what you can do with some card stock and a laminator. Yes I own a laminator.  How embarrassing, right?

 

Again, before you call Social Services to have my children removed from my care for denying them the basic necessity of a schedule-less summer vacation, hear me out.  Each day the kids get up and do their morning routine.  Okay, this is brilliant!  They get dressed, put their jammies away, say their prayers, make their bed, have breakfast and brush their teeth.  Easy cheesy!  Then, we do about an hour and a half of work, which includes reading, journal writing, math, and piano.  After which, we head outside for a little soccer action and gardening (two of my most favourite things).  By 11 am, they are done! They have the rest of the day to relax, play, or find adventure.  Around 3pm, we then kick back into gear to do our chores, and at 4pm, let the angels sing, it's screen time!  Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!

You must also understand that this is not a rigid schedule. Some days, like on Tuesday, we don't do chores or screen time because we were having too much fun with our friends at the covered bridge swimming, eating, and chatting.  Or some days, like yesterday, when everyone is pooped from the evening before's soccer game, we sleep in a little. 

So why bother doing it, you ask?  I want my kids to learn how to manage their time and make the most out of each day.  I want them to learn that life is about working and playing, and I want them to understand that when you achieve a balance between these two ideals that life can be oh, so very rewarding!  Just ask Avery what Friday is? Whenever the schedule is mentioned, he pipes up: "Friday is payday"!

How's the schedule going, you ask?  I am shocked how well the kids have adapted.  They swear that it is the bane of their existence, but they are beginning to do it without me asking.  I am loving it!  We are getting all those important things that I have always promised myself we would do like journal writing done early in the day so that we can fill the remainder of our day with fun things like swimming, games, and skating.  Really, you must try it!  Oh, and the best part is that Elliot, who can really fall off his rocker in the summer or anytime when there is no routine in place, has been much more relaxed and much more like his ol' adorable, adventurous self.

But, the best part of this schedule is that we can really make the most of each day.  Like yesterday, after all of our tasks were completed, Elliot went to his friend Connor's house to swim in their pool and Avery spent the day with his buddy, Declan, swimming, boating, and tubing.  Man, my kids have awesome friends!  Anyhoo, this left the entire afternoon open for Zoe and I to be together, which has become one of my summer goals as well to spend more individual time with my kids.  They are growing up so fast, I want to really enjoy them and get to know them really well.  It amazes me how easy it is to let an entire day slip by without taking the time to have some spirit-to-spirit contact with those you love.  Those precious moments when you truly "see" them and really listen to what they are saying.  It is sacred!! 

But I digress . . .

As soon as Zoe heard the boys had plans, she squealed: "I'm getting out the Keesdrow game, mom!".  What can I say, we truly are game crazy around here.

Keesdrow, or wordseek backwards, is one of our favourite games because just the two of us play it.  You have to find words on the board, and each time you use a letter (up to 3X), the value of that letter increases.  You only have two minutes, and we introduced a whole new level of challenge to the game yesterday, where you have to find as many words as possible in two minutes rather than seeking out that most valuable word.  It was so much fun, but very intense!  As if you would expect anything less from the two of us . . . tee hee!

On our last turn, we were neck and neck.  I finished with a score of 473 and Zoe just needed 21 points to beat me.  It was her turn.  I flipped the timer and she was off.  I thought I had the game in the bag because the board was a sea of red pegs, or letters that could no longer be used, but she's awesome at strategy games and she did it!  She found two words that I did not see before.  Just as the very last piece of sand was dropping into the mini hourglass, she asked: "Can I use the same word if it is in a different place on the board". 

I replied: "Yes, you can but your time is up, and I have won!!!".  Woohoo! I was elated!  I never win against her, and I had just won by a whopping 6 points.

But, in true Webster fashion, she contested.  She was adamant that if she did not have to ask the question, she would have started the word just in the nick of time and would have won.  But I, on the other hand, was adamant that knowing the rules is part of the game so I won because she did not, in fact, start her word on time.  Isn't spirit-to-spirit contact sweet?  Perhaps it can be if those spirits are not highly competitive and very intense . . . tee hee!

But, in spite of our varying perspectives on the results of the game, we had a blast.  We laughed, we talked, and we enjoyed being together.

I am so blessed to have a daughter as awesome as she is.  Even if she really is a sore loser . . . tee hee!

So, now I ask you: is the summer schedule really so bad?  Am I truly an awful mom for making them get up at 8am, completing a few homework tasks and doing some chores so that we can fill our afternoons with fun and adventure? 

I think not, but then again, what do I know, I'm just the mom!

Unicorn Boy

Hooray for long weekends!  And what a weekend it is going to be.  At about 6pm this evening, seven little boys will be embarking upon my house for one wild and crazy sleepover. The very same boys, who I found dancing on my kitchen table at Elliot's last birthday. Great kids, just no self-control.  Hmm, I think I may know another three just like that.  I usually don't do themed parties because I am really not that organized or creative, but Elliot desperately wanted to have a "camping" party.  Unfortunately, though, with all the miserable weather we have had lately, I had to put a kybosh to those plans.  Then my dear hubby came to the rescue and suggested we set up the tent in the family room so it will feel like the boys are camping.  Elliot was ecstatic!  In his words, "this is going to be the best birthday party ever!".  Please keep our family in your prayers.

And in other news, yesterday, was an awesome day.  I love it when the kids have a short week of school and all our usual evening routines can fall to the wayside.  No piano practice, no homework, no set bedtime, and by some divine miracle, no extracurricular commitments.  It is on these days when I can pat myself on the back and say "Krista, you rock!" Unfortunately, when trying to accomplish all of the above-mentioned tasks within a reasonable time span so that my children can actually get some sleep, I tend to lose my cool.  A lot!  Patience is a virtue that I have to work on.  But not last night, and my good mama moments far outweighed the not-so-good ones.  But who is counting, right?

Yesterday, after the children enjoyed some screen-time, we headed outside in the beautiful sunshine and the balmy breezes wearing SHORTS. I could not believe it!  Woohoo!!  Spring is finally here! We also took our houseguests, Mary and Zelda, out to enjoy this wonderful weather. Although they enjoyed the sun, they were not so keen on the big orange fella who kept circling their cage and barking.

big orange fella

Our  neighbour's guinea pigs, Mary and Zelda

After the kids road their bikes for a bit, and generally drove me crazy with their whining about the black flies, I put them to work and we began our combat manouevers against our family's arch-nemesis, Japanese Knotweed. 

just some of the knotweed found on my yard

These lovely bushes are one of the world's most evasive weeds.  They grow up to eight feet tall and quickly take over the neighbourhood  leaving nothing in their wake.  They laugh in the face of fire, lawn mowers and shovels.  They drink in "Round Up" like it is a nectar from the gods.  When the Lord said to Adam, after he and Eve ate from the forbidden tree, "cursed is the ground for thy sake" (Genesis 3:17), yeah, this is what he was talking about.  Oh, what are we to do?  Well, we have three options.  Option A involves a $7000 payment to your friendly local weed man, who will make no guarantees that the abominable plant will not return.  Option B is a multi-year plan of tarping and continual cutting back in the hopes that you will eventually "starve" your unwanted houseguest (I assure you, not Mary and Zelda). Option C is to buy a goat.  Remember "The Vision"?  I guess goats love to eat knotweed, and for me, this is a no-brainer, but Mr. Level-Headed is still waiting to taste his homegrown veggie.  So SURPRISE!  We went with Option B, which means every Spring, four Websters and one Skov, armed with spades, hockey sticks (for knocking down the tall stalks), rocks, and tarps wage war against their enemy.  One of these days, we will gain the upper hand.  We will taste victory!

the tarps

what my yard can look like

Back to "good mama moments".  I love when the children and I work together, especially when we are outdoors.  I feel like I am teaching them a valuable lesson about teamwork and living by the sweat of your brow.  Eventually they do grow tired of whining, and we can enjoy the quiet bliss of working side-by-side with a common goal. Insert pat on the back here.

Later on, as I was helping Zoe curl her hair, we had a great mother-daughter chat.  Being thirteeen is tough, and I think we can all remember the hell that was middle school (or Junior High back in the day).  Thankfully, Zoe is a level-headed kid.  I wonder where she gets this from?  She knows who she is and what she stands for.  She has amazing friends and lots of interests, but she finds the pressure to "fit in" is becoming greater.  So, the next time you see my little girl, or another young teen whom you care for, give them a hug and tell them you are proud of them.  Remind them of just how awesome they are and that you love them.  The world they live in is much tougher than ours, and I fear that we adults often forget this and don't always give them the credit they deserve.  Insert second pat on the back here.

With all the freedom that came from having no school the next day, we were able to have Family Home Evening.  Family Home Evening is one night in the week that is reserved for families to come together for a brief gospel lesson, to share a yummy treat, and to enjoy an activity together.  Our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (GASP! She is a Mormon!), encourages families to hold these evenings weekly because, as many of you know, life is extremely busy and we need to take time to enjoy our families.  In the words of one of our Church leaders, "although family home evening usually becomes just a fight between two prayers", it is important and will have a lasting impact on your family.  So last night, we enjoyed a large pizza cookie, shared what we love about Elliot, since it was his special day, and watched "The Incredible Hulk 2", at the birthday boy's request.  The most touching moment of the evening was when Avery, who was too shy to share his compliment out loud asked me to do it for him, whispered "because Elliot is the bestest brother ever".  To which Miss Smarty-Pants, Zoe, exclaimed "he is your only brother!".  Like I said, a fight between two prayers, BUT worth every minute.  You should try it with your family!  Insert third pat on back here.  

Finally, our evening was coming to a close.  We had a our family prayer, and as we kissed the boys goodnight.  Avery started to think of names for the giant pink, sparkly unicorn he won in school that day. I guess they had an "act of kindness" contest in his class, where each time the kids performed an act of kindness their name was thrown into a jar. Well, yesterday was the big day and Avery's name was chosen.  So, he came home, on the bus filled with both elementary and middle school kids mind you, proudly carrying this:

 

At first, he thought Fuzzy would be a suitable name. Nah, too common.  So I suggested Corny because of unicorn, get it?  But that was too "corny". 
"I've got it", squealed Avery, "Horny!".
Well as you can imagine a fit of giggles erupted from Zoe. 
"What's so funny?" asked Avery. "What does horny mean?".
Mr.Level-Headed, at this time, got up from his chair, strolled to the door, and said "ask your mom".
"Ummmmmm!  It means nothing.  It's just a really stupid name.  Good night, Avery!" as I scurried out the door.
No need for a fourth pat on the back.  Leave it to Avery to deny me a good mama moment. 
Tee hee!

Have a great weekend!