The In Utero New - Issue 3

Thing 4 at 34 weeks!

Thing 4 here. Yesterday, mom and I went to another doctor's appointment, and it was a really good one. Not only did we learn that we do indeed only have five weeks until we get to see one another, but we also learned that we gained four pounds. This made my mama very happy because she is all concerned that something is wrong since she is not as big with this pregnancy as she was with the other three wee Websters. Both the doctor and I, through all my ridiculous acrobatics, assure her that everything is great and that I just may be a smaller (but much more mightier) baby than the others. Nonetheless, she was thrilled when she saw the scale's numbers make a four pound leap and immediately texted dad to share the good news. Dad, who is always so sensitive to mom's  neurosis, replied exactly as he should have and made mom's morning even better:

Ha, ha! From what I understand, husbands should never tell their wives they are getting big, but I guess this case is what you would call an exception and it scored big points for my dad. If I am a guy, I plan on paying close attention to how my dad treats my mom. He seems to know exactly what he is doing.

After our weigh-in, mom was called into an examining room where the nurse asked her to lie down so she could listen to my heart beat . . . Ugh! This is my least favourite part of the entire visit because the nurse pushes down on my tender, little body with a big, metal knob. In the past I have tried to push it away, but that never seems to stop her; so yesterday, I devised a new plan to get back at her. As she was quietly taking notes of how quickly my heart was pumping, I whispered to myself:

1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 

And then I did one of my Olympic rolls to the other side of mom's uterus. I scared the life out of the nurse and she screamed:

Oh my!  You really do have an active one there . . .

To which mom laughed and rolled her eyes . . .

Yes, and a show off too.

According to the nurse, baby's my age (34 weeks) tend to slow down, but that is craziness. Who can slow down when they know that in just five short weeks they will be joining the biggest party on earth - Shenanigans Inc! Come on, seriously?

Okay, so perhaps scaring the nurse was not very nice, but man it was funny, and in all honesty, it is far less cruel than what my siblings have in store for me. Oh yeah! They are definitely not the nicest or the brightest! Yesterday, they revealed to mom all of their nasty plans, and they were so proud of themselves. Little do they know, though, that I heard every word they said and I have five entire weeks with very little to do but to plot my revenge . . . muhahahaha!

It all began Monday evening when dad came home with a very large box. It turns out my dear Nanny Webster bought a car seat for me to ride in. How sweet is that! Mom had picked it out a couple of weeks ago and nanny ordered it. Well, when it came into the house, everyone got excited, particularly Zoe. She unpacked that seat, read the instructions, and had it fully figured out in no time. She and mom then took one of mom's old baby dolls, wrapped her up in my new blanket and placed her in the car seat . . . awwww!  Then, yesterday morning, Zoe installed it in the car, and mom drove around all day with it . . . ha, ha! These girls make me laugh. 

Anyhoo . . .

So what were the boys up to while mom and Zoe were busy getting my car seat ready? Well, they were playing with the box:

And during his time in the Box of Shame, Avery came up with the great idea that they should keep the Box of Shame for when they are babysitting me, and then they can use it to put ME, adorable, innocent, little me, in the box. They laughed so hard when one of those fools suggested they even turn the window away from the television to prevent me from seeing what is going on. How cruel is that? Then, like all great ideas, this one quickly snowballed until, finally, the Box of Shame evolved into a trap. Yes, that is correct, my adoring siblings devised a trap for me when I begin to crawl, and the bait was a cat food bowl filled with a drinking box, a granola bar and mom's keys. According to them, these items are all very enticing to babies, and as soon as I crawl over to the dish, one of them, who will be holding the string attached to the light saber, will pull the string and the box will close on me. They even tried the trap out on each other and it worked. Oh, and in case you doubt how maniacal all of their little minds work, I have proof. Check it out!

They think they are pretty funny, but I vow to have the last laugh. Oh yes, they are all getting pooped on; I just have to figure out which one gets it first. Hmmmmmm . . . . .

Have a great day!

The In Utero News - Issue 2

Thing 4 here, again. My mama is really tired lately. I think it may have something to do with me, but I am not entirely sure. I am getting stronger and more active everyday so you think that she would be too, but I am just a fetus, and really, I don't know how your world works yet. Anyhoo . . . (yes, I stole that one from my mama. It's one of her favourite words. That and another one that starts with F, but I have been given strict instructions, as have my siblings, to never say that word. I am guessing that my family operates on the old adage do as I say and not as I do . . . ha, ha!)

So, today marks my 33rd week birthday. Woohoo!  Mom had been expecting me to make my grand entrance into the world in six weeks from  now, but after talking with dad last night and discovering that our doctor's OR day may be on a Monday and since the Monday six weeks from now is Remembrance Day, mama is thinking that we will probably have to wait the full seven weeks. I have to admit that if this is the case we are both a little bummed out because we are getting uber excited to see one another. Sure she yells sometimes and sure I kick a little too hard sometimes, but we have already come to terms with the fact that neither one of us is perfect and we will love each no matter what. I really hope she sticks with this bargain because if she knew what I have in store for her over my lifetime . . . yikes! Let's just say it is not always going to be pretty . . . ha, ha!

There I am at 33 weeks!

You all know that my big sister Zoe had a pretty lousy week last week. She was really sick with her colitis and a cold. She has not been to school in two weeks and has not left the house for anything except doctor's appointments . . . blech! So, on Saturday, dad woke up and told her that as soon as he was done showing some houses, he was going to take her out and do whatever she wanted. I guess they call these daddy/daughter dates, and I really hope I get to have them too, but since I am not allowed to tell anyone if I am a daughter or a son yet, I guess we will all have to wait and see. I am sure if I am boy that I will also get to do some really cool stuff with my dad, but to tell you the truth, from the way it sounds to me on the inside, I think the girls of this family get special treatment . . . just saying. Anyhoo . . . Zoe spent Saturday morning trying to figure out what to do. Eventually, she came up with something and texted her idea immediately to dad, but she would not let mom in on their plans. This would normally drive my mama crazy, but she was pretty busy editing her latest blog book and so she did not think much about it. Zoe then spent the afternoon getting all done up. I have to say of all the people in this household, Zoe is definitely the most fashionable! Finally, dad came home and they went out. When they came home, mom was still working on the book and didn't even get up to greet them, but much to her surprise, Zoe came bounding in her room with a bag of goodies. First, she gave mom a can of Coke and some Peanut Butter Cups for being such a great mama . . . awwwwww, and then much to my shock, she gave me a present. Me . . . little old me! My big sister chose to spend her day of pampering shopping for me! How lucky am I? Truly, I think I have the bestest big sister in the world. Mom and I were giddy over all my presents. First, she pulled out some baby socks. Then, she pulled out the softest baby blanket imaginable! Mom squealed when she saw the blanket, and assured me that even if I was a girl I would most definitely be wrapped up in this blue, green and brown blanket. According to mama, Zoe had two blue blankets when she was a baby and since she has turned out to be them most amazing girl the world has ever seen, it only makes since that I too, if I am a girl, have a blue blanket. I love how my mama thinks! By this time, mom thought my spoiling was done, but Zoe had one more surprise up her sleeve: an adorable baby nightie (and yes, even if I am a boy I will be wearing this. Come on! This should not shock you by now.) with matching socks, hat and bib. Mom nearly died and declared that this will be the outfit I wear home from the hospital. Check out my loot!

Awwww . . . Every night, when mom lays down to read her book before bed, she takes my soft blanket and covers her belly with it so I can appreciate my new gift. Gosh, I love my mom and I, especially, love my big sister! I am really starting to think I am the luckiest fetus in the world!

Happy 33rd Birthday to me!

More Nesting Neurotics

Last night I had a terrible dream. I dreamt I was showing off my big, baby bump to my sister, Emily, when I noticed there was a small hole in my stomach. I could peek through the hole and see Thing 4 bouncing around and much to my delight, I discovered that he or she had a head full of black hair. I was ecstatic! Then things went bad. Thing 4 decided it was time to make his or her grand entrance, even though I kept screaming: 

No, not yet. You still have another ten weeks to go.

Like the rest of my children, Thing 4 did not listen to my counsel and as a result, was born ten weeks early. All I remember is calling Mr. Level-Headed and telling him the baby was born, but he or she was too small to live. I was crushed. I spent the remainder of the evening dreaming that I was visiting my friends, who all seemed to have brand new babies in their arms. It was a terribly depressing dream! 

When I awoke, I felt sad, but I knew it was just a dream and so I brushed it aside and started our day. As the boys were working on their math, I went into my room and began cleaning it up. As I peeked into the crib and saw all the sleepers I bought a few weeks ago, I had the most wonderful idea. I decided in order to really shake off that horrible dream I needed to wash all the baby's clothes and make room for them in my dresser drawers. (Thing 4 will be sharing a room with Mr. Level-Headed and I for the first two years of his or her life like all the other wee Websters did. It's how we roll!) I love doing laundry on regular days, but when my basket is full of adorable, tiny, baby paraphernalia, then I REALLY love doing it. I love smelling it. I love holding it up and imagining my baby wearing it. I love rubbing the animal faces on the bum of the jammies. I love folding it, and I love seeing all the clothes neatly piled along side one another in my drawers. It was a very therapeutic exercise for this neurotic, nesting mama.

Thing 4's basket of baby books on my bedside table. I may or may not have already began reading them to him or her . . . I know CRAZY!

My AppleCheeks stash all neatly tucked away.

A onesie I found hanging in my closet that I had bought four years ago, right after my surgery, as a baby shower gift, but could not bring myself to part with it and so I had to buy another gift . . . tee hee! Can't you see Harriet in it? 

The Patriot jersey all of our kids wore when they were babies during football season, and although it will be a tad bit too big for Thing 4 this year, I am sure he or she will still be wearing it. I am so glad I never parted with this jersey!

My laundry basket full of baby goodies!

All that adorableness neatly tucked away in my dresser drawers. I hate to admit it, but I have opened this drawer about a hundred times already today. I can't help myself!

I have a feeling that these next ten weeks are going to  be the longest ten weeks of my life (and probably the cleanest ten weeks my house has ever seen!)

Oh, and it is not just me who is super excited around here. The three kids started calling dibbs on who gets to hold the baby first. In the end, they have decided to pull names out of a hat the night before Thing 4 arrives . . . tee hee! Thing 4, we may not have a whole lot of room for you here at Shenanigans Inc., but I can promise you there will be no shortage of love.

Time for a Little R&R

I had no intention of blogging this morning . . . 

I had to get up at 4am to pack a lunch for Baby Girl, who needed to be out the door at 4:30 am to catch the bus taking all the youth from our church to Quebec City. There is a huge LDS Youth Conference being held in Quebec over the next four days and they are going to have a lot of fun! As soon as she and Mr. Level-Headed left the house, I crawled back into bed and fell asleep. I was shocked when I finally came to that it was 10 am . . . woohoo! This pregnancy has not been conducive to sleeping in and every morning, whether it be a weekend or weekday, which really isn't any different for the kids and I during the summer anyway, my internal clock wakes me up at 7 am . . . sheesh! Needless to say I was pretty happy about my sleep-in. As I laid in bed and thought about the day ahead of me, one that should be a whole lot less hectic than yesterday, I decided to take the morning off from my blog. There really is not a whole lot to say and I was really enjoying being lazy in my big comfy bed. Then, I heard a little knock on my door.

Mom . . .

Yes, bud.

Avery and I were wondering what you want for breakfast.

Awww . . . I will take some cereal and orange juice. I will be out in a minute to eat it.

No need. Stay in bed. We will bring it to you.

Not only did they bring my breakfast, but they also brought me my laptop so that I could write my blog! (which is why I caved and decided to write this post)

Okay, so for the record, I am truly raising the best sons ever! Sure they are loud and boisterous and embarrassing and violent and crazy and intense, but they also have the biggest hearts ever and they spoil me like crazy. As nervous as I am about having another baby and going through that whole sleep-deprived, 24 hour a day hands-on experience of introducing a new being into our world, I can't help but think we are going to do great. Raising this baby is not going to be anything like when I had my other three because I am somewhat wiser and, albeit, just a little bit more laid back. Plus, the other three are quite self-sufficient now and will be a huge help. Sure this baby is going to bring a whole new level of chaos into our home, but I am confident we can handle this. Right?!

Okay since I have you here this morning, I might as well embarrass myself to some degree. Isn't that what I do best? So, one of the reasons I think I needed this lovely sleep-in this morning is because my nights are very restless. Being a belly sleeper and having a belly that is continually growing in size just do not mix. I can not get comfortable and it seems once I do, Thing 4 starts partying. Then to make matters worse, I am having the most exhausting and intensely realistic dreams ever. Perhaps not realistic in the sense that they could or would actually happen, but realistic in the sense that they are so life-like. To make matters worse, my dreams are not much fun. In fact, all I seem to ever do in them is work, and work and work. They are exhausting and I wake up even more exhausted than when I first laid down. The other night I spent the entire night saran-wrapping plates of food. Is this not the craziest thing you have ever heard? The next night I dreamt I was a Viking, and I had been captured by a rival Viking crew. I had to clean for them and cook for them. When I finally had had enough of being their slave, I then spent the remainder of my dream devising intricate plans of escape. See, even in my dreams I cannot seem to escape my anxiety or nesting neurotics. 

Well, after months of these intense and tiring work dreams, I told Mr. Level-Headed that I just wanted to start having some fun in my dreams. I told him that I needed a vacation from my dream world, and as crazy as it sounds, that is all it took. That night, Monday night to be exact, I did not have a single dream about working. Nope. Instead I dreamt all night long that I was at one rip, roaring party . . . tee hee! All the Websters were there, our British soccer coaches were there, and all my friends  from our church were there too. It was wild! I drank, I smoked, I danced, and then I passed out. As I was lying face down on the floor of someone's living room, I felt really uncomfortable. Then it occurred to me that my belly was sore. Finally, I clued in that I was pregnant and the panic set in. This was when I finally woke up. I groggily lifted my head off the pillow just as Mr. Level-Headed was coming out of our bathroom, and I mumbled:

I just dreamt that I got drunk, and I was smoking, but I was still pregnant.

Being Mr. Level-Headed and being accustomed to my early morning mumblings, which always seem to surpass my standard, mid-day ridiculousness, he brushed the hair off of my face and without even missing a beat, he said, in all seriousness:

I am sure your dream was in the 70's, and in the 70's, none of that would matter. The baby is fine. Go back to sleep.

And I did . . . tee hee!

See why I love him so much!

Now last night's dream was more much tame, but I was still on dream vacation-mode. I dreamt I was in New York City with two little kids (hmmmm . . . perhaps there is a Thing 5 in our future as well), and we were on the search for the best poutine in New York City . . . tee hee! Do they even have poutine in New York?  Sadly, I woke up before I  had the chance to eat some, but nonetheless, it was a great dream.

I think I really am crazy . . .

Can it Really Be Over?

Just before I dash out the door for yet another day full of appointments . . .  blech! I thought I should update everyone on my "condition". Well, I don't know what happened yesterday, but it seems to be over. My anxiety is gone, and I spent the entire day yesterday marvelling at how calm I felt. Even when I had to get supper ready for five kids and get them all out the door, including two bikes neatly stored in the back of my van, in a whomping forty-five minutes. This is is some sort of miracle. I didn't lose my cool once, and we even made it out the door on time WITHOUT forgetting anything or anyone. Hallelujah!

So, what changed? I have no idea. Was it the fact that I wrote about my anxiety yesterday and received so many kind and supportive comments from all of my readers? Was it the fact that the boys had two friends over for most of the day and I did not see them because they were too busy playing crab apple fights deep within our very own jungle of knotweed? (Ya gotta love country kids!) Was it because Baby Girl was so consumed with packing for her upcoming trip to Quebec that I had the entire day all to myself just puttering around the house performing my favourite chore, the laundry? (I kid you not! I love laundry day!) Was it the fact that a dear friend of mine called me yesterday to assure me that I had nothing to fear because my nesting frenzy has not reached the critical level of ridiculousness as hers did when she was nine months pregnant and decided to move heavy bedroom furniture from one bedroom to another just because it needed to get done . . . tee hee! (I have the best friends!) Or was it simply that my poor brain and body could no longer handle the stress of it all? (Not to mention my poor family . . . eeeek!). 

Well, whatever the reason, it is over, and to prove just how over it really is, check out these pictures. Yep, those are my adorable monkeys being well, monkeys, at Zoe's soccer game last night. What would have sent me into a fit of rage just two days ago, caused me to erupt in giggles and grab my camera to document just how foolish these two can be.

Who sees a hill and thinks: 

Awesome! I must grab my brother so we can roll down together.

And then after getting a mouth full of grass and a couple of kicks and punches from the brother as you propel him down the hill thinks:

Let's do it again!!

and again . . .

and again . . . 

I love my boys!  BUT please pray that Thing 4 is a Harriet because I really don't know how much more testosterone my little blue house can handle . . . tee hee!

And now we're off . . . have a great day!

A Nesting Frenzy

Tomorrow morning, I will be 26 weeks pregnant, which means I only have 13 weeks left to go . . .  eeeeeek! This is starting to get very real for me and very scary. In fact, last week I woke up one morning in a terrible anxiety-ridden frenzy, which unfortunately, has not left me. I felt this overwhelming panic because I had no clothes for the baby to wear and no school books for the kids when we start back in just 2 weeks from today. Mr. Level-Headed, who I am pretty sure has never had an anxious day in his entire life, just laughed it off and assured me everything would be fine. He kissed me on the forehead, told me I am cute, and left for work.

Yeah, like that's gonna make me feel better . . . . grrrrrr!

So, I got to work. I had a few errands to do that day, one of which was a doctor's appointment and so I showered, ate breakfast, and ran out the door. Still propelled with this intense desire to get things done, after my doctor's appointment, I hit Walmart, where I bought the baby some adorable plain white onesies (my favourite) and all of the kids school supplies. Then I did the groceries and headed home. I thought that as soon as I had these few items in my hands and neatly stored away at home, that I would feel better. WRONG! 

Nope. I woke up the next morning, feeling the exact same way. So this day, I ordered all of our homeschool curriculum, went over our homeschool schedule for the year, came up with the five science experiments we are doing in September, made up a list of all the library books we are going to need for our unit study on Ancient China, and then made a list of which libraries they can be found at. . . .  phew!  That night I went to bed feeling like I had really accomplished something and I was hopeful that I would wake up the next morning feeling more relaxed. WRONG AGAIN! 

Nope. I woke up the next morning feeling frazzled, frenzied, and even more freakishly neurotic . . . aaaaaahhhhhhh! So, we cleaned the house. While I cleaned out, organised and labelled our craft drawers (I really am sick), Mr. Level-Headed, who had came home early that afternoon, cleaned the kitchen, Baby Girl cleaned the bathrooms, and the boys cleaned and vacuumed the basement. Instead of being all appreciative of what everyone was doing, I became a highly-critical drill sergeant, demanding they do this and that until everything was just right. Ugh! My poor family. That night as I laid on the couch, resting my tired achy body and putting my swollen feet up, I thought surely this has to be over, but I was wrong yet again. 

The next day, after I devised a detailed budget for our family expenses clear until the end of October (I am a NUT!), Baby Girl and I went shopping. The boys were spending the weekend at their friends' camp (I have the best friends ever! Thanks a million, Lisa) and Mr. Level-Headed was working on a book report for one of his classes. It was so much fun having an entire day to spend with just my girlie. In the end, she found a couple of great dresses for the upcoming youth conference she is attending in Quebec City, and I bought a ton of baby stuff. I just have to say that Frenchy's and Value Village have become my new favourite baby boutiques . . . tee hee! I bought baby towels, 7 pairs of sleepers, an armload of onesies, a sleep sack (I guess you are not supposed to put blankets on babies when they sleep anymore . . . who knew?), and a cuddly, fuzzy, snow suit complete with bear ears on the hood to wear on our winter walks (I guess you are not supposed to put babies in snow suits when they are in their cars seats anymore either. . . again . . . who knew?). Surely, with a boy-free weekend and spectacular girl's day out complete with baby shopping and a very yummy salad and poutine for lunch under my belt, my anxiety should once and for all be gone, but . . . . nope. Grrrrr! That night, I cried to Mr. Level-Headed that I felt so restless and wanted nothing more than to crawl out of my own skin . . . do you know what I am talking about? It's the worst feeling ever, and no matter what I do I can not seem to get rid of it. Darn pregnancy hormones! 

 Anyhoo . . . that is where I am at right now, and it is no fun at all. No amount of nesting, or eating, or warm bath taking, or hard work can seem to shake off this feeling. I guess, like my first trimester morning sickness, I am just going to have to wait this one out too. 

But, in the meantime, looking at all the goodies I now have tucked away for Thing 4, sure puts a smile on my face.

And really, there is nothing better than animal faces on baby bums. The sheer delight I get from holding these outfits is ridiculous!

Oh, and don't think for  one moment that the above outfits are too boyish for my little  __________ to wear, that is if, in fact, Thing 4 is a girl, because they are not. In my house, girls wear green, they wear grey and they especially wear outfits with animal faces on the bum and on the footies. Yes, this drives my poor mother-in-law crazy, but it's the way we roll here at Shenanigans Inc.

Okay, so as I was writing that last paragraph, it occurred to me that most of you do not know the names we have chosen for our precious little baby. Now, it is not that we are keeping them secret, but rather, very few people like our names and since I am in a particularly surly mood lately, if I see another person roll their eyes at them, or laugh or gag when trying to say them, I am going to lose my mind. So . . . it is probably best to put the names out here on the blog. That way, you can all make your faces, call us crazy and even cry if you want to, and then clean yourself up and put your fake smile on the next time you see me. Now, before I impart the names, you need to know this. Names are SUPER important to me. I lose many months sleep over them and they have to be just right. I test them out by saying them out loud randomly throughout the day, I write them down, and I say them alongside all my other kids' names. For me , the name has to be just right, and after only two months we found Thing 4's names. They are perfect!

If Thing 4 is a boy his name will be Leif Christian Webster. All of my kids have a family members name in them, and since both of my boys have already taken their grandfather's names, we decided to choose a name for Thing 4 that would be a nod to my Danish heritage. We wanted something masculine, but also intelligent, and I think this name has it all. Leif is after the viking Leif Eriksen (you can't get much more manly than that) and Christian is because well, we are very proud to be christians but also because of Hans Christian Anderson, the Danish author and poet. We love it!  

Now, if Thing 4 is a girl, and this is the one people seem to have the most trouble with, her name will be Harriet Wynona Grace. Wynona is Mr. Level-Headed's mother's middle name and Grace is because it was only through the Lord's grace that we were ever able to have another child, and they just flow nicely together. Harriet, which is probably the name you are all gagging over right now is awesome! I know it sounds like a very old name, but to me, it does not. For me, and thanks to a children's book I used to read to Zoe over and over again when she was little, Harriet is a rambunctious little girl, who although tries to be very good cannot but help get into trouble every second of the day. Does that not sound like one of my children? I ADORE the name Harriet!! For me, girls' names need to be intelligent, strong, and serious. I want a name for my daughter that she can be proud of saying when she is standing in front of a large auditorium of scholars defending her doctorate thesis, one that makes people think that this girl is not to be trifled with, and one that can be lovingly whispered to her by the man who will love and cherish her for all eternity. Oh, and if you really can't bear to use this name, the other reason I chose Harriet is because it has the most adorable nickname, which I will graciously allow others to use, but to me, my little girl will always be Harriet. The nickname is Hattie. So there. You have nothing to complain about now . . . tee hee!

Harriet from the book "Harriet, You''ll Drive Me WILD!" by Mem Fox

And now I am off. I am sure there is some list for me to create, something for me to organize, or someone who needs to be yelled at. Man, I really hope this frenzy ends soon. Pray for my family. 

p.s I also really like names that are not heard of often so if you are pregnant PLEASE do not even think of stealing my names. Seriously, I am in no mood to be trifled with . . . tee hee!