The other day I read Our Journey to Here for the first time since my little Leifer was born. It struck me how scared I was and how reluctant I was to get my hopes up. It seems funny now with Leif so neatly tucked into our life that I could have ever been so anxious or fearful. I am grateful that those days are behind us, and I am beyond grateful that we were granted our happy ending after all.
Leif, you are a tremendous blessing! Yes, you have wreaked havoc upon our life. Many days I fear our house may be swallowed up by the mountains of dirty laundry I can never manage to get caught up on, or that my brain will eventually disintegrate thanks to a scarcity of sleep, or that I may never fit into my jeans again. In spite of how challenging our days have become, I never tire of seeing your smiling face. I never tire of holding you close when you are crying from all your tummy troubles. I never tire of waking up at 3, at 5 and then at 7 to find you groggily reaching out to me and searching for a boob. I am okay with the fact that right now you are totally using me for my body. I love you Leif, and if there is one thing that I have learned from all those years I waited to hold you it is that as hard as a moment may seem it is only but a moment. In the flash of an eye it will be over, and to tell you the truth, I am not ready for this to be over. No matter how much laundry I have to do, or how tired I am, or how flabby my belly is, I am not ready to say goodbye to these moments; therefore, I hold onto them, I treasure them and I enjoy them. The laundry will eventually get done, I will eventually get a full night's sleep again and, okay let's be honest, my tummy will never be flat again, but you will not always be 11 pounds 6oz . You will not always sleep beside me and you will not always need me as much as you do right now. And so my little Leifer, for now, I will continue to kiss your cheeks off, to squeeze the stuffing out of you every chance I get, and to whisper I love you about a million times a day just because I can.
There is nothing cuter than baby toys strewn across your bed!
Okay . . . this definitely may be cuter . . .
Leif, you were definitely worth the wait!