Monday, 28 September 2015

The Travelling Gong Show

When I was pregnant with Harriet, I met a woman who was in a similar situation as I was. She had three older kids and her two babies were nineteen months apart. Since she had a month under belt being a mom of five, I asked her for some survival tips, and one in particular made me laugh:

Well, whenever you think you need to go out, remember it is not worth it and stay home.

At the time I laughed because part of me thought she was joking; unfortunately, she wasn't, and Saturday afternoon I was kicking myself for not heeding her warning. Mr. Level-Headed needed to get a few things and both the boys needed cleats. Everyone had been busy Friday night and Saturday morning, which meant I was home alone with the two-under-two crew. Mr. Level-Headed did not want to leave me home alone again so he suggested that the babes and I come along for the adventure. 

. . . it is not worth it. It is not worth it . . .


I threw some diapers, a change of clothes and some snacks in my purse and we were off. Unfortunately, we forgot that it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon on the Kingston Peninsula, which meant that the ferry line-up was ridiculously long. Both Leif and Harriet, who did not understand why we were just sitting in the car not going anywhere, began to lose their mind. Then, we dropped Avery off at soccer 45 minutes late . . . yep, we are those parents. Then because Mr. Level-Headed had left his wallet in his car, which was now parked in the Hampton High parking lot since Zoe was volunteering at the school's season opener football game, we drove to Hampton to collect it. By the time we had the wallet, had put some air in the van's leaky tires and filled it with gas, it was almost time to pick Avery up again so we decided to head back to the soccer field and wait for him to finish up.

 . . . it is not worth it. It is not worth it . . .

While we waited in the car, I nursed Harriet and Leif lost his mind . . . again. Two hours after we left the house, we finally arrived at our first destination - Winners.

We unleashed the monkeys and everyone jubilantly ran into the store. 

Back Story - whenever I go into a store, I immediately strap Leif into a cart and he remains there for the duration of our shopping trip. Last week, however, we went to Costco with Grammie and she let Leif out of the cart. I nearly choked.

What did you just do, mom?

Don't worry, Krista. He will be fine and I will watch him.

Well, two seconds later she bumped into a childhood friend and I was left chasing my nutball son through the busy aisles of Costco with Harriet strapped to my chest. This was not the worst part, though. With the sweet taste of freedom still on his mind, Leif has determined that sitting in the cart is optional. Oh yeah, you know where I am going with this. Now, every time he is placed in a shopping cart, he loses his mind. He kicks, he screams, he flails his arms and he inevitably attracts the attention of everyone within a ten mile radius. All we need is a circus conductor walking before us, shouting:

Come one; come all and enjoy the spectacle that is Shenanigans Inc.!

With Leif screaming, Harriet assumes we are all in imminent danger and therefore, she unleashes her own cries of discontent.

So, yeah, throw in a teenager who was anxiously checking the time on his phone, counting down the minutes until he had to be at his friend's house, and you have a pretty accurate picture of how we must have looked to all the customers in the three stores we visited. . . yes, I said three. You would think we would have just thrown in the towel after the first store, but we Websters and a Skov are stubborn and we are definitely not quitters.

After not finding cleats for the boys at Sport Chek, our third stop on the travelling gong show, and with an inevitable fourth stop looming in our near future, I finally came to my senses and recalled the wise words of my fellow sister in the trenches of mamahood:

 . . . it is not worth it. It is not worth it.

I think the babes and I are just going to stay put and hang out in the car for this round.

And that is exactly what we did. Leif drove the car and hollered at all the passerbys, while I nursed Miss Moo in the front seat, and we both happily ate the Goldfish crackers that had spilled in the front console of the car earlier in the week. After the boys had found their cleats, and the two-under-two crew were safely strapped back into their carseats, we decided to celebrate our shopping victory with a trip through the A&W drive-thru.

I am living the dream, folks. Living. The. Dream.

 . . . tee hee!

The crazy thing is that I do believe they are worth it.

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