We are really proud of you for going back to school to get your MBa. In fact, we think it is pretty cool. Mom is doing well without you around too. We are all bathed, fed, and watered daily. Sure, we don't get as much television when you are not around, and yes, she even made us clean up the basement last night after supper (sheesh!). It is also true that she gets way more crankier when she does not see you all day and has to spend "every waking moment with us monkeys" (her words, not ours), but all in all, things are going well.
Except for last night, which is why we are writing you this letter. We are a little concerned about Mom. We fear that she may have finally "lost her last marble" (again, her words, not ours). The day was a typical day. We did school. Elliot whined and yelled, and whined some more. Zoe and I teased Elliot. Then we teased him some more. We all chased each other around the house. We wrestled. We yelled. We wrestled some more. Yep, it was pretty much a typical day. Then we sat down for supper. Zoe and Elliot started fighting again, and Zoe threw a green bean at Elliot. He threw one back. I begged Zoe to throw one my way so that I could try and catch it in my mouth. Needless to say, I caught it. Whose the man? And the whole time this food fight was going on, Mom just sat there, ate her supper and never said a word. Then she even laughed and sprayed mashed potatoes all over the table. Of course, being kids, we took this as our cue to rev it up a notch, and, being Webster kids, we didn't hold anything back.
The alarming thing is that even after my dance routine on the table, Mom never raised her voice. Eeek! This is so not like her. We're scared, Dad, very scared. Please come home tonight as soon as possible. Clearly, we are all in desperate need of a larger dose of your level-headedness.
Your darling, and a wee bit wild, children.
p.s. Mom approves of this message . . . tee hee!