Friday, 9 November 2012

Brutally Honest

Last night as we left soccer, one of the other moms asked Elliot how homeschool was going.  I could feel my insides tighten up.  People with NLD are brutally honest, and do not understand there are times when a filter is required.  I leaned over to hear exactly what his take on our week was because, in all honesty, it sucked.

Not good actually.  I don't think I put a full day in this whole week.

Well, it happens.

Yeah, hopefully next week will be better.

I am sure it will be.

I was shocked.   Elliot did get it.  He recognized that he had a bad week, and he was probably painfully aware of  why it was so bad.  You see last Friday, one of Elliot's teeth became loose.  No big deal, right?  WRONG!  It was a huge deal to him, and he became fixated on trying to get it out.  Oh, and when I say fixated, I mean fixated with a capital F.  He could not function.  He could not do anything except work on that tooth.  I texted Mr. Level-Headed:  Elliot has a loose tooth, and he is so far gone, I can't reel him in.  School is not getting done with him today.  He texted back:  I think that's best.   I love that my husband gets it.  People with NLD have a hard time modulating emotions, blocking out distractions, and interpreting pain, which explains why my poor boy spent that evening and, many after it, writhing in pain on his bed and crying hysterically.  All because of a stupid, little tooth.  It just doesn't seem fair.

This is what homeschool looked like for Elliot this week:

And here is Avery slaving away, never even commenting on the fact that his brother did a lot less work than him:

What a great brother!

Anyhoo, as Elliot said,  this week wasn't great; he didn't put a full day of school in this entire week.  He was anxious, unfocused, and in all honesty, extremely annoying.  I hate saying that.  You may hate me for saying that.  But it is the truth, the brutal truth.  Even though I am fully aware of all his idiosyncrasies and all of his NLD traits, there are times when I just don't care.  There are times I just want my boy to pull it together and do what he is supposed to do.  There are times when I want him to be like everyone else because that would make my day so much easier, and there are times I, eventually, lose my temper, like I did yesterday.  I yelled.   I yelled some more.  I threatened to take away his screen time and his Halloween candy, knowing full well that it wasn't his fault and that he would do it if he could.  Ugh!  Another stellar mom moment. Then I felt miserable.  I have been praying all week for more patience and more understanding with Elliot, but it just doesn't seem to be coming fast enough.  I apologised to him, gave him a hug, and we carried on, with Avery and I doing work and him, well, him working on his tooth.

But hearing him talk to my friend last night put it all back into perspective for me.  It was a bad week.  They happen.  They happen to everyone, and hopefully, like Elliot said, next week will be better.  I need to relax.  He is doing his best, and I am doing my best.  Sure, there will be times when we fall, and there will be times when we let each other down, but we are in this together, and together, we are going to make this work.  

Looking back at some of our other photos this week, I can't help but be grateful that Elliot isn't like anyone else.  He is who is, and I love every ounce of him!

Who else makes slingshots out of their floss sticks when they are supposed to be doing their math?

tee hee!

Have a great weekend!

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