Friday, 8 July 2011

Nice, Neat Packages

One of the best parts about writing a blog is taking small moments from my life and wrapping them up in nice, neat packages.  I start out with a lengthy introductory thought, followed up by an outline of the shenanigans that ensued, and I wrap it all up with the affirmation that life is indeed good!  I LOVE nice, neat packages!  In fact, this is why I love Victorian novels so much; in the end, all problems are solved, a lesson is learned, and love and happiness abound.  This is how life should work!

But, sometimes, it seems life doesn't always play by these set of rules. 

I do believe that all things happen for a reason, and if we live a life filled with honesty, gratitude, faith, hard work and love, in the end it will all work out.  Life may not end up the way we intended, but if we look closely enough we will recognize the beauty in it.

Unfortunately, I can't wrap up today's blogs in a nice, neat package because, frankly, I do not know how it will work out.  I just have a strong belief that it will work out, and that whatever happens will be for the benefit of those individuals involved.

This has been weighing heavily upon me:

What do you do when one child in your family shines?

Sounds frivolous, but think about it.  When the world seems to be favouring one of your children, what do you do as a parent to help the others feel equally valuable and successful?  

Let me set it up for you.  In my eyes all of my children shine. They each have strengths and unique qualities that make them oh, so wonderful to me.  Zoe is level-headed, confident, intelligent and hardworking.  Elliot is thoughtful, gentle, tender hearted, and creative.  Avery is hilarious, adventurous, confident, and enthusiastic. What can I say?  I am blessed to raise such remarkable spirits!

The problem, though, is the world seems to favour Zoe at the moment, and she is continually recognized for her accomplishments.  Don't get me wrong.  This is wonderful for Zoe, and as her mama, I love attending all the award ceremonies where she receives the recognition she deserves, but my heart aches for the little guys in the audience, the quiet ones who sit there anxiously awaiting for their day to shine.

Here is Zoe at the closing ceremonies for MCS this year:

It seemed like she was always on stage.  Her awards included:

Best Literary Award for a Grade 7 Student (this was for a poem she wrote about the veterans and came with a $35 cash award . . . sweet!)
Top Academic Marks in her Class
High Honours
Most Improved Player on the Girls' Basketball

When she came home, after proudly displaying the fruits of her labour, she tucked each of these awards and medals into her "awards drawer".  I kid you not and it is overflowing

And she not only shines at school.  Each year, she seems to win an award for her involvement in the Kingston Soccer Club.

I am so proud of her!

But, as I mentioned earlier, I also have two other bundles of adorableness that I love and care for, and I worry about what this does to their self esteem to time after time sit in the audience and watch their sister receive her accolades, while they remain virtually "unseen" amongst the crowd.

I  know they are happy for her, but I also know it hurts them.  They fear that they will never be as smart or as talented as Zoe.  And no matter how much praise or attention they receive from Derrick and I, it does not seem to carry the same amount of weight as a flimsy piece of paper that implies: "You are the best" in something.

Ugh!  Being a parent is definitely challenging. 

I try to emphasize in our home that a success for one of us is a success for all us, but as you know, my family is highly competitive so this does not always fly.

But, it is true! We are all in this together.

I also reassure them that everyone's day will come.  Right now it is Zoe's turn to shine in the eyes of the world, and someday it will be their's. 

Each of them are very special, and I just know that they will all do grand and marvelous things with their life!

 Oops!  I did it again. I wrapped it all up in a nice, neat package.

Tee hee!

p.s I feel that a Webster family awards ceremony may be in order.  It's brilliant! Yes, I truly am a geek. I will keep you posted!

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